I did not enjoy being engaged. At twenty-one years old planning a huge event with my parents’ money during my senior year of college was beyond stressful. When I’m stressed I’m indecisive. And there are so. many. decisions. Venues, photographers, music, clothes, food, decor, I knew nothing about any of this. Let’s not even talk about creating a registry… “What is flatware? I need how many plates? There is no such thing as masculine bedding!”
At some point in the planning a wise person told me to pick five things that are important to me, make those a priority, and let the other things go. This advice was huge for me because it directed me towards meaning. What parts of getting married really mean something to me and my fiancé? Everyone’s answers will be different here and that’s normal. For me the ceremony meant the most: that it honored our families, was centered on our faith, and that the words spoken and sung were intentional. I remember wanting it to feel full of faith, hope, love, and people.
Most of you will have different things that matter most to you. Meaning may be in the celebration, throwing the best party of your lives for all the people you love. Meaning may be in the intimacy, sharing a fantastic meal with the people that are most precious to you. And your fiancé may have opinions on this that differ from yours! So then there’s working through what is important to each of you as you prepare for your wedding.
I’ll say this, once you understand what the meaning of your wedding is, the decisions will get a whole lot easier. You can spend time investing in the meaningful parts and make quick, smart decisions on the rest. Meaning will give you the motivation you need to plan, make decisions, and get things done.
You may be wondering, how do I find the meaning in my wedding? Dream for a minute about your wedding day, from waking up in the morning to falling asleep that night: you’ll get ready, have a gathering of people, celebrate in some way. When you imagine this day at it’s best what do you see, hear, taste, smell, and feel? The things that are most exciting for you to think about will point you towards meaning.
What means the most to you as you think about your wedding day? I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
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